Tusk

Where should I start...

Still trying to think where I should start...

Ok, so. In the past, if you've had the urge to watch Human Centipede, then you'll have the urge to watch this film. Unfortunately, I've obviously had the "urge".
Wish I didn't but I did...

I don't think I'll master the biography about this film without making you cringe, so I'm just going to guide you to Google on this one. And as in cringe, I'm not referring to any extremely disturbing scenes, I'm mainly referring to the comedy they associated into this movie. The comedy makes you cringe. Makes you wonder if adding comedy was even a good idea? I wonder what it would have been like if they just kept it your basic horror...
Furthermore, let's just say, Justin Long needs to retrieve his Dodgeball uniform and live in the past, because that's as good as it's going to get for him.
"Mr. Long, do you think your uniform will fit over your walrus costume?"

Don't get me started on Haley Joel Osment.
The Sixth Sense? Pay It Forward? You don't see any of that in this film, and yes, I'm aware that was many years ago. However, I don't necessarily think acting talent wanes so quickly, you just got to find the right part. He still has yet to impress me.
There's a man in this too who plays the f**ked up doctor, unfortunately though I can't remember his name and I don't want to search it either because I know the horrid movie images will show again.

With all that being said, my point is probably pretty clear.
Hey, if you want to watch a super weird, awkward movie, the Internet is open to you, but if you have a bad feeling from this movie trailer and the movie posters, don't fool yourself; listen to your bad feeling, it's trying to tell you something.

I don't recommend the watch. Sorry guys, keep movie surfing.

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!"

Camp X-Ray

I know what you're thinking; what movie is this? Then you type the title in your handy search engine there, and you learn that the young Kristen Stewart is the star of this movie. I know a lot of people are extremely opinionated about her based on her Twilight series and the whole "no emotion" thing, but don't be so quick to judge. For those of you who've seen her indie films, you guys know what I'm talking about.

What an emotional roller coaster this movie was!

Kristen Stewart plays soldier Amy Cole, who basically walks the halls in Guantanamo Bay babysitting detainees. She specifically keeps a special eye on a detainee named Ali Amir, played by Peyman Moaadi. Over time, they develope a soldier-prisoner bond (sounds totally wrong, right?) and it turns out to be such a heart wrenching story.

Now why would anybody befriend an individual held at Guantanamo Bay? Somebody who isn't entitled to the Geneva Convention and is said to have done some hardcore terrorist activities? However, the way the story goes, it's not that strange as it all may sound. From beginning to end, the movie leaves you on a cliffhanger the entire time. It opens with 9/11, which immediately makes you feel terrible, but the rest of the opening scene is so bizzare. The film places you in some big ball of confusion and leaves it up to you to decide if this Amir guy really did what he did, or if the ball and chain is on the wrong ankle. Camp X-Ray goes so far in depth that you forget why this Amir guy is there in the first place. The relationship between the two makes you laugh, makes you cry and just makes you assume that these two were meant to be best pals or something.

This may not be what you imagined from a movie about Guantanamo Bay. Maybe you expected
something more violent, or some terrorist overthrow. Well, it's not, but this is a story that will stick
with you hours after the movie is done. I've never studied the chemistry between two fascinating people so much in my life! Director Peter Sattler created a wonderful project here. He should be very proud. It's a damn shame this film wasn't a theatrical release in Canada, well, not in the main provinces anyway....

Grab some popcorn, invite a friend over (trust me, you'll need to discuss this movie with other people when you're done) sit and engage. Harry Potter fans, you may even like this too. Yes, I totally recommend this movie. It's so complex that it's enjoyable.

If there's a film you're not sure about, comment, I'll watch it and let you know how it unfolds.

Start the movie, already!

Reviews are generally too long, too boring or a bit too informative that they make your head spin.

You just need to keep it simple, straight and to the point. Was the film good or not? Please save me from a Netflix mistake and wasting an hour and a half of my life on a movie that wasn't worth the watch; it's time you'll never get back, I know. I've been there.

I rate this film 2.5 stars out of 5.

I rate the next film 3 stars out of 5.

Does star rating really help you determine whether or not you want to watch the movie? It probably does for a lot of people. Personally though, if I see a movie that's a low star rating but the plot sounds interesting, I'm usually intrigued to watch it. Why? Because stars just don't seem to convince me. What does a 1 star or 2 star even mean? Should I watch the movie or should I overlook that title and keep searching? 

What I think people are saying? Just give me a brief overview and tell me if it's worth my time, or if it's a movie you wouldn't even watch while you're sick in bed, very, very bored and have nothing else to do.

That's why I'm here.

I'm open to any movie at all. I'll watch it and review it. I'll risk wasting my time in order to save yours. How considerate, right?

"That's what the people want, give us some shit, mangia, we the people, give us the shit, mangia, mangia, mangia." - The Interview, Dave Skylark